Thursday, December 04, 2008

Almond Cluster Joy Bombs

I, for one, am glad the U. S. did not join 100 other nations in signing the treaty to ban cluster bombs. We, along with the other 26 nations who manufacture cluster bombs, have worked long and hard to perfect a way to maximize collateral damage to children, and darn it, we are not going to let all those years of research and hard work go for naught.

Leaving aside for a moment the lucrative nature of the cluster bomb business, people have to realize that it's not everyday that you come up with a really effective device with which to kill human beings. And, long after the bombers are back in the hangars, these bomblets just keep on killing. Talk about bang for your buck.

But I think we can do better. Right now according to an article in the UK's Guardian newspaper, Handicap International says that 98% of the casualties it found were civilian. Only 98%! I know, you're saying that 98% is pretty good, and that it's hard to perfect something as neat as the cluster bomb, but hear me out.

Having spent some time in the branding/advertising industry I think the way to kill more children and civilians is packaging. Perusing the images of cluster bombs on the Internet, it is easy to see right away that there is a dearth of imagination when it comes to cluster bombs. We need to brighten things up.

We have to use the color palette more creatively. Reds, greens, blues, yellows. And what if we made them cuddly? How about wrapping the cluster bombs in stuffed animals like little toy bears, or cuddly pandas -- you know, to draw the kids in. And what if we disguised them as food to grab the adults? A cluster bomb that looks like a can of soup. Come on folks, 98% is good, but I think we can get that last 2%.

Who's with me?

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