Gitmo closing

The Obama White House has announced that they will be closing Gitmo within a year. No longer will the inmates be lulled to sleep by warm Caribbean breezes and the sound of waves washing up on white sandy beaches.

Of course, the big question is, what are we going to do with the 240 some odd detainees?

We can't just send them back to their own countries. They will either be tortured some more, executed or released to fight again.

I have a better solution.

Everyone who comes out of prison has to go to a half-way house. A place to pick up the pieces of your life and start anew. After all, as Donald Trump said, America is all about second chances. Go with me on this.

If you really think about it, those detainees picked up a gun without really understanding the concept of the American dream; without understanding what they were trying to destroy.

Therefore, I say, let's give them the American dream and then, if they still want to go back to that cave or compound on the Afghan-Pakistan border and live without a/c, central heating, no washer/dryer, no cable, no TIVO, no 50" LCD TV, no trash compactor, no electric garage door opener, no blender, no dry cleaning, no mini-van, then fine, let 'em go.

I think though, that they will opt for the dream. I think they'll opt for the cheeseburgers, and pizza and ribs and steaks, and milk shakes. I think they'll opt for a shot at putting their kids through college, at owning their own home, at joining a bowling league, a 40 hour week, two weeks vacation in Biloxi, Myrtle Beach or Disneyland.

I know what you're thinking....we can't reward killers, we have to make them suffer.

Here's the silver lining. With this "American dream" they'll get comfortable, they'll stop exercising, they'll eat more junk food while watching Survivor, they'll gain weight, struggle to pay the mortgage, the credit card bills, the car payments, the medical bills. They'll get massively stressed out, they'll get ulcers, heart disease, suffer heart attacks and die.

You were saying....?