And the nominees are.....

It's that time of the year again, awards season. We've already had the Golden Globe awards, the Producers Guild awards, the SAG awards and the Oscars are right around the corner and I thought that, if it's true that all the world's a stage, then the foreign policy world should have their own awards. So, here are the nominees......


ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE ON THE WORLD STAGE

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Let's face it, when it comes to bombast, speeches and hubris, he is a hard act to follow.

Mikheil Saakashvili and Dmitriy Medvedev: Their over the top hand wringing and mutual sense of outrage over South Ossetia was real theater.

Robert Mugabe: For his sheer stones and denial of reality. Also, anyone who prints a $50 billion dollar note with a straight face deserves to be nominated. He is the one to beat in this category.

Somali President Adan Mohamed Nuur Madobe: Can there be a tougher gig? I don't think so.


ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE ON THE WORLD STAGE

Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner: Technically she assumed the Presidency in December of 2007, but I figured what the heck. Also because it's not easy being a female leader in a macho Hispanic world.

India's Pratibha Patil: Who? Exactly. I bet you didn't even know India had a female President.

Pakistan's Benazir Bhutto: Another technicality, she was assassinated in 2007, but she gets nominated for sheer guts for running for office when she knew the whack jobs were gunning for her. She has the inside track to be the Heath Ledger of the awards.

Bangladesh's Sheikh Hasina Wazed: For trying to run Bangladesh, she gets an automatic nomination.


MAKE UP

Radovan Karadzic: For that whole wild monk, wacky mountain man look.

Nikolas Sarkozy: Nothing makes a person look cooler than marrying Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton's ex-girlfriend Carla Bruni.


SPECIAL EFFECTS

Iran: For those doctored missile photos

North Korea: For photoshopping Dear Leader into pictures to prove he's alive and well.


Tomorrow: Nominees for Actor and Actress in a Supporting Role, Writing, Dictator...I mean Director, Set Decoration and Non-State Actor.

Feel free to send me you nominees.

Zimbabwe's 2 Drink Minimum

It is velvet rope time in Harare. Bobby Mugabe has a new angle.

According to CNN, "the Zimbabwean government has announced restrictive licensing fees for foreign journalists working in the country, demanding they pay an annual fee of $4,000 to practice journalism."

But oh, it gets better. The $4000 allows you to do your job, but the application to do your job, costs you $10,000. And once they say yes, you can do your job, your accreditation costs you $20,000. For a grand total of $34,000.

You know the Russians, Chinese, Iranians, Saudis and others are watching and thinking, "hmmmm instead of killing or imprisoning journalists, we can charge them a bunch of cash first, and THEN kill them or imprison them." Brilliant!

But why stop there? Why stop at charging them for applications and accreditation. There is so much more money to be made. How about $5000 for every camera you bring into the country? After all, pictures can be really damning.

Then you can charge another $5K for each laptop you bring in. And how about $5K for cell phones and $10K for satellite phones? Or better yet, make them rent the phones, cameras and laptops from you.

Come on Bobby, let's get creative here.